Why it’s my mission to bring back the tradition of personalized, custom wedding poems.
The tradition of having a poem written for your wedding dates back to ancient Greece when it was customary to have a song written in honor of a marriage. This song was called an “epithalamium” (also sometimes spelled “epithalamion” or “epithalamy”).
This song or poem was performed for the bride and groom on their wedding day and was considered a way of invoking good fortune for the couple.
“Epithalamium” translates to “upon the nuptial chamber.” The song was often sung by a group of boys and girls literally right outside “the nuptial chamber.”
The Ancient poets later developed this wedding song tradition into its own written literary form. The earliest written epithalamiums date back to 600 B.C. and are fragments of Sappho’s poems.
During the Italian Renaissance, this tradition took on new life in the form of a poem called a “per nozze” or “for a wedding.” These poems were printed on pamphlets to be handed out at a wedding. The wedding poem tradition continued to evolve through the works of Spenser, Tennyson, and e.e. cummings.
Here’s what I noticed as I searched for a poem for my own wedding . . .
This was 14 years ago – I was planning my wedding while finishing up my MFA in Creative Writing at Purdue University. I spent hours googling “wedding poems for ceremony” and was reading through all these beautiful wedding poems when I stumbled upon the definition of the “epithalamium.” It changed my frame of reference for what I was reading – these wedding poems I was reading were almost always epithalamiums written for a specific couple. People were just reusing other people’s wedding poems!
I then became obsessed with this literary form. I wanted to enter into in this centuries-old tradition and so decided to write my own epithalamium to be used at my wedding. This poem served as a kind of cornerstone for the wedding, and has only grown in meaning through the years.
Why you might consider commissioning a custom wedding poem
If you’ve been searching for a poem to use in your ceremony (or in any other way in your wedding) but haven’t found one that’s just right yet, well that’s because all those poems were written for someone else!
Most people customize every detail of their wedding, but use someone else’s wedding poem. You too deserve your own custom wedding poem! You will also be taking part in the long tradition of the epithalamium.
Having a personalized, custom wedding poem takes on even more significance as people are adjusting their wedding plans because of Covid. Sending your own wedding poem (in either an announcement or a thank you) can be a unique way to connect with family and friends that are not able to attend your wedding.
If you’re interested, please contact me with questions and/or take a look at the Wedding Poem Questionnaire I use to craft each unique wedding poem.